General Humour - Non X-rated


An assistant to Henry Kissinger, then National Security Advisor and Secretary of State to President Richard Nixon, worked two weeks solid to produce a 100 page position paper.  Knowing Kissinger's predilection for accuracy and crispness, the assistant checked carefully for any misspellings, errors of fact, and nebulous thinking, and sure of the finality of his work, the assistant submits the paper to Kissinger's office.  One hour later, the assistant is surprised that the paper has been returned - with a short note attached, "Is this the best you can do?  Try again. HK"

Devastated, the assistant works all night to refine the original, and the next day, resubmits a slimmed down version, more focused, tightly worded 70 pages only.  Thirty minutes later, the assistant is awakened by the secretary bearing the revised version, and a note, "I asked for an improvement, and this is what I get?  HK."  The assistant does another all-nighter, and now produces what he thinks is a masterpiece, further slimmed down to 30 pages of cogent, sharp analyses.

That morning, he brings the slimmed down version to Kissinger's office, runs into Kissinger himself, and hands the copy to the great man himself.  The assistant says, "Sir, I hope that this revision does the job."

Kissinger looks at the paper, and says, "Good.  Now, I think I will read it.  Thank you."


What is the height of a crying shame?  A busful of lawyers going over a cliff, but unfortunately, there are 3 empty seats on the bus.

Why don't sharks attack lawyers?  Because of professional courtesy, and sharks are not cannibals.


If you have to hire an economist, why should you try to hire a one-armed economist?  So that, he will never say, "On the one hand this, on the other hand that..."

If you have to hire a lawyer, why should you try to hire a lawyer with no legs?  So that, he will never say, "You don't have a leg to stand on..."


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