| Budapest, Hungary, sign at zoo
|
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. |
| Restaurant
menu
|
Fried pig with smashing potatoes. Stuffed flesh with breadcombs. |
| Knife display at
a store
|
Extremely sharp knives. Keep out of children! |
| Zurich, Switzerland hotel
|
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guest of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. |
| Moscow, Russia hotel
|
You are welcome to visit the cememtery of the Russian
Orthodox monastery by the hotel where famous Russian and Soviet composer,
artists, and writers are buried except Thursday.
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome
to it.
|
| Belgrade, Yugoslavia hotel | The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job
of the chambermaid.
In elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should
press the wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by
national order.
|
| Leipzig, Germany elevator
|
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up |
| Norway cocktail lounge
|
Ladies are requested not to have children at the bar. |
| Finland washroom
|
To stop the drip, turn cock to right. |
| Japan hotel
|
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. |
| Vienna hotel
|
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter. |
| Austrian ski resort
|
Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. |
| Hong Kong dress shop
|
Ladies have fits upstairs. |
| Made-in-Hongkong clock
|
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life. |
| Bangkok, Thailand temple
|
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. |
| Stockholm, Sweden furrier
|
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin. |
| Paris, France clothes shop
|
For sale, dresses for streetwalking. |
| Tokyo, Japan car rental | When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour. |
| Return to [ Main Page ] | (Note: This is meant in good fun, and not meant to disparage the valiant attempts of non-English speaking people to provide directions for English speaking visitors.) |