X-rated Humour


There are three guys and one girl that each guy wishes to make love to.  Conscious of AIDS, they wish to practice safe sex, but unfortunately there are only two condoms amongst the four of them.  How do they arrange it, so that each guy in turn can have intercourse with the one girl, and yet still be absolutely sure that each of them has no contact with the bodily fluids of any other of the three?

Each of the three guys has sex with the girl, in turn, makes use of one or both of the condoms, and after usage, the condom cannot be washed out.  The condom may be re-used, however; but any bodily fluid from the condom may not come into contact with another person.  It doesn't matter in what order the 3 guys go in turn.

Look to the end of this page for one possible solution.


What is Frustration?  The first time you can't do it a second time.

What is Despair?  The second time you can't do it the first time.


What is the difference between Faith and Knowledge?  A father has faith that he is the father of his child, but only the mother has knowledge whether he is the father or not.


Four nuns have passed away, and are now at St. Peter's gate, asking for permission to enter heaven.  In order to enter, St. Peter says that each must answer the question, "Have you ever touched a man's penis?"

The first nun admits to having touched a man's penis with her hands, because she had worked at a hospital, and had to prepare male patients for surgery, such as shaving them for hernia operations.  St. Peter tells her to wash her hands in a bucket of holy water to clean out the part of the body that touched the penis, and after she does that, he admits her.

The second nun says she used to work at a nursing home, and had to bathe elderly male residents, and thus have also touched a man's penis with her hands and elbows.  St. Peter says, no problem, tells her to wash her hands and arms in the holy water bucket, and after she does that, he admits her.

Just then, nuns 3 and 4 are having a royal battle.  St. Peter says, "Ladies, why are you fighting?"

The third nun says, "The fourth nun in line wants to go in before me, and I refuse to let her go in first."  St. Peter says, "Why don't you be gracious and let her go first.  There's no need to rush."

The third nun says, "If you think I'm going to wash my mouth in that bucket of water after she has washed her asshole in the water, you're crazy..."


The first ladies of the world's superpowers were having coffee and discussing nicknames that they gave to their husbands' penises.

Mrs. Blair says that she calls Tony's penis, "Gentleman", because it always rises whenever a woman enters the room.

Mrs. Putin says that she calls Vladimir's penis, "Former KGB", because it will stab you in the front or back.

Mrs. Chirac says that she calls Jacques' penis, "Curtains", because it always comes down after the final act.

And Hilary says that she calls Bill's penis, "Rumours".   Why?  Because it gets passed from mouth to mouth.

And Melinda Gates, who was evesdropping, said that she calls Bill's penis, "The Firm".  Why?  Not because it's good and hard, but because it's Micro-Soft.



Solution to the 4 people, 2 condoms problem.

The key to solving this dilemma is to realize that there are four people, and even though only two condoms, the two condoms have four sides.  Now, if we can ensure that each person only touches one side of a condom, then safety is assured.

Assume the four sides of the two condoms are labeled:  A and B of the first condom, and C and D of the second condom, with A and C being the outside sides and B and D being the inner sides of the condoms.  Assume A is girl and only side A will touch her.   B, C, and D are the three guys.

For the first intercourse, place the second condom inside the first condom; thus side A only touches the girl, and D has made love to her, with him using side D of the second condom.

For the second time, remove the second condom from inside the first condom, and B can make love with the girl.  Side A still touches only the girl, and side B has touched only guy B.

For the third time, turn the second condom inside out, and place it back inside the first condom, so that side A still touches only the girl, and side C now touches only guy C.  Sides B and D are in contact with each other, but that presents no danger since guys B and D have already finished, and only their fluids are in contact.


Return to    [ Main Page ]