Below in the table is a collection of questions overheard by people who are into cruising on cruise ships, whether strictly as a "cruise" where the ship mostly stays within a region, such as the Caribbean or the Mediterranean area, or as a "crossing", which typically refers to an ocean liner that crosses a major ocean, usually referring to the Atlantic Ocean, but certainly the Pacific Ocean or Indian Ocean would qualify.  These questions when heard by a listener, would normally cause the listener to be slightly taken aback, or upon reflection, would cause the listener to chuckle to him/herself.  Sometimes, the question could be considered as nonsensical.
 
 
About the ship and its crew...

This photo is of the liner Queen Elizabeth 2, or better known as the QE 2.  Its maiden voyage was on May 2, 1969.  It's Gross Weight Tonnage (GWT) is 70,327 tons, and has a capacity for 1,778 guests and a crew of 921.  Many experienced cruisers prefer newer and larger ships, but the QE 2 retains its own style and sense of tradition for ocean crossings, formal nights, and elegance.		 Does the crew sleep on board the ship?

Who steers the ship when the Captain is at the Captain's cocktail party?

Do these stairs go up or down?  How about the elevators?

How far above sea level is this ship anyway?

How can I possibly tell which is the front end of the ship just by looking out at the sea?  (This was when the ship was moving at 20 knots.)

Why is the ship moving so slow and the sea so fast?

Does the ship generate its own electricity?

(Note:  The questions in this column were collected from many experienced cruise passengers, and are not related to just the QE 2.)

 
About the ship's cabins...

For a virtual reality type view of some of the QE 2's cabins and public areas, click on any of the links below.  To return to this page, use your browser's "Back" button; do NOT use the (Close Window) button under the image that you see.  If the actual rotating image has not loaded after one minute or so, click once on your browser's "Reload/Refresh" button.

  [ Suite / Stateroom ]  [_Inside_Cabin_]

  [ Queen's Room ]      [_Pool Area_]

 Are the outside cabins outside of the ship?

Can I have an inside cabin with a balcony?

Hello, Purser?  I booked an outside cabin with an ocean view, but upon entering my cabin, all I see are buildings by the pier!

Hello, Purser's office?  Can you help me please...I can't get out of my cabin.
Yes, I know where the bathroom door is...and the door beyond the bathroom door?  No, I can't go through that door...it has a sign saying "Do Not Disturb" on the door handle.
Dining on board...

QE 2 passengers dine in one of 4 main restaurants, depending upon the category of the cabin booked.  The menus of the meals provided are the same in all four restaurants, though of course the Queen's Grill restaurant, which is for the most expensive cabins, provide higher levels of personal service.  For a sample menu from the Mauretania Restaurant, click below.  Use your browser's "Back" button to return to this page.

   Dinner Menu:   [ Lo-Cal ]  [ Hi-Cal ]

 What time is the midnight buffet on?

Are there two seatings for the midnight buffet as well?

What are the ice sculptures actually made of?

Did the crew catch the fish of the day this morning?

What do you do with the ice sculptures after you're done with them?

May I have some hot iced tea, please?

Is the dining room for our meals?
Shore excursions...

While at sea, there is a full slate of activities and entertainment to keep passengers occupied, if they so wish.  To view a sample Daily Programme, click below.  Use your browser's "Back" button to return to this page.

  Daily Programme:  [ First Page ]
       [ 2nd Page: Morning Programme ]
       [ 3rd Page: Afternoon Programme ]
       [ Last Page: Evening Programme ]

 

 Where's the good shopping?  (on an Antartica cruise)

Why'd the Greeks build so many ruins?

Windsor Castle was nice, but why didn't they build it near an airport?

Where abouts is this lil' island Venezuela anyway?

How many of them thar fjords to the dollar?

Where's the bus for the walking tour?

Is there water on the other side of that island?
All others...

   [ Cruise Review of Norway ] - a real, yet highly humorous review of one passenger's cruise on the liner, SS Norway.

 Are we allowed to change our clocks at any other time besides midnight?  I can't stay up that late, just to change the clock.

How do we know which photographs from the Captain's party are ours?

Where do they keep the horses?  (Upon hearing that horse racing will soon start.  Horse racing on board is a table game with figurines of horses only.)

Are we allowed to use drugs on board because of the ship's Dutch Registry?
A very British tradition...afternoon tea, scones, finger sandwiches, pastries, waiters/waitresses in white gloves.

   [ Rule Brittania ] - click on this link for this most famous of British naval music.  Use your browser's "Back" button to return to this page.
Afternoon tea on the QE 2, Queen's Room.  Note the age level of the passengers.  They show a good representation of the QE 2's usual mix of passengers.  Evening dancing is also held here in the Queen's Room.  No other ship afloat has music or a floor for dancing comparable to the QE 2's.
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